Anaesthetized

Bruised, battered and beaten senseless,

Too sore to feel, too sore not to.

Your fist stings my face and the ensuing

Fall strikes my heart.

Broken and humiliated I rise from the aching ashes,

Day, after month, after year.

Only to descend again, floundering at the flight of your knuckles,

Branding me with your weaknesses.

You show me your past, in a way that makes it my own.

All your falls…now mine,

Each knock you took becomes my own,

Our black and blue collide as the bruises that have faded on you, now mark me.

That scar on your torso corresponds with my scar,

That one you gave me last month…

Remember?

Some days my body is deadened while my soul is burning,

Some days my nerves function while my soul won’t wake,

Some days I weep and weep in flesh and heart,

Those are they days I dreamt about being numb.

But all of that has passed now.

It has been years since I have moved,

Years since I have touched or been touched,

Not even the lightest of breezes can shift me.

Oh do not mistake me,

I recognise your fist when it comes flying at me; that brutal stroke.

But I no longer feel it beating my body, beating my soul.

After each episode I sit on the soft, bloodied carpet that feels to me like a stone cold dungeon. Cold and senseless

Leaning motionless, back up against the wall -

I pray.

Not to an idol, god or angel for they have betrayed me just as much as you have.

I pray to humanity.

If only the rain would come,

Then the salt on my cheeks would prove that I am human again.

Engulfed in numbness I pray that I will feel the flurry of life again,

Only to glance back over my shoulder and kneel to be numb once more.

It is a terrible journey.

This road I walk.

You should know, you walked it before me.

I look ahead and see you see you and your learned aggression.

I grasp what the future holds for me.

This realisation is the perhaps the worst blow I have felt - ever

But it is also precious as it is the last time I feel before I know what needs to be done.

That’s when I take the ghostly needle and complete the act that you’ve been preparing me for all these years

Sealing my destiny I insert the thin blade and finally I have my absolution,

I am anesthetised

Author: Lili44

Genre: (AU) Friendship/Romance

Disclaimer: Sorry I do not own Robin Hood or any related characters.

check out the banner for this fic at this address: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t222/lanaburgess2/forlilidjaq.jpg

 Synopsis: Nobody ever thought that Saffiyah was just an ordinary girl. But there is so much more to her life than was ever expected. Join Saff on her journey through University as she finds new friends, deals with stresses and faces her past, present and future. Will Saff ever be able to face her past and can she fight for her future and win? Will Saff find her kindred spirit? Join the gang in a tale of living, loving and letting go.

*sorry this isn't under a LJ cut everyone. They don't seem to be working for me no matter what i do.


 

Chapter 12 - Charity Bash

~o~O~o~

rap, rap, rap

There was a loud and brash knock at Saffiyah’s and Marian’s dormitory door.

“I know that knock” said Marian “my Prince Charming awaits” she added in mockery while Saffiyah pretended to vomit.

As Marian left the dorm with a smiling Robin for the Charity Bash Saff arranged her hair, tucking a few loose bits behind her ears.

Without warning Allan bounced in saying “well, well, well don’t ya scrub up nice?”

“ALLAN! Knock next time”

“Yea Yea” he said brushing off her reproof

Observing the glazed look in his eyes Saff asked “have you been drinking already?”

“Course, how else am I sposed ta do this auctioning thing tonight”

“Right….well shall we get going?”

“Phew yea, I’ve never known a girl who hasn’t kept me waiting while she gets ready”

Walking down towards the college hall where the Charity Bash was being held, Allan snaked an arm around Saffiyah’s waist which she immediately wriggled out of. But Allan was not deterred as he rested an arm on the small of her back. Saff was too preoccupied to notice this time as she watched a tall unmistakable figure approaching the hall. As he got closer to the entrance he looked up and their eyes met, she held his gaze until he turned away and walked past them like he didn’t see them, straight into the foyer where Saff saw him approach the blonde, smiling girl ’Eve’. Suddenly he looked back at her and she sharply turned her face away not wanting him to know she had been watching him. Pinching herself internally she thought ‘get a hold of yourself Saffiyah!.’

Allan also seemed to notice that something wasn’t quite right with her and enquired what the matter was. She brushed off his question by drawing attention to a large figure approaching them.

“John!” she exclaimed.

“Saff! Allan! How are you my friends?” John asked warmly as he embraced them both at the same time.

“Shall we go in then?” Saff said nodding towards the hall
Entering the hall Saffiyah spotted Marian who waved them over.

“Is this where we are sitting?” Saff asked Marian

“I am, your not” Marian replied

“But why not? Aren’t we sitting together?”

“Unfortunately not. I am sitting on this table with the new Dean” she scowled a little as she said this “and a few of the Professors”

“What, why!?!” Saff was shocked. Glancing at Allan she noticed that he didn’t seem surprised or interested. ‘Must be the alcohol’ she thought.

“I have no idea. Ah talking about professors here comes one now” Marian responded

“What, exactly is Robin going to say? Robin's sitting with us.” Saff hissed

Marian just shook her heard warningly and Saff looked up to see Gisborne approaching. Saff noted that he nodded at Allan before seeking eye contact with her. She purposely turned her head away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d got to her.

Turning to Marian Gisborne asked “Will you be seated?” Marian nodded as Gisborne drew back her chair to seat her with a smirk that made Saff want to slap him. Instead she grabbed Allan’s hand and dragged him over the where Will and Eve were seating.

They sat down at the table, Saff next to Eve, to Saff’s unexplainable displeasure with Allan on her other side and Much next to Will. Saff looked further down the table and saw the massive form of John take a seat next to a petite woman. Realising this women was probably Alice she couldn’t help but giggle at the difference in their sizes.

There was awkward small talk around the table as they waited for the event to start.

Eve was very much withdrawn from the conversation, with her near silent partner doing little to include her.

Much, taking pity on her asked her what she thought of the Charity Bash.

“It’s a wonderful idea!” she remarked “I wish I were as inventive and as dedicated being selfless as the people who organised it.”

Saff choked wondering if the silly girl realised how cliché that sounded but Much beamed with pride and Saff chuckled to herself, knowing from that moment Much was a lost man.

There was a squeak of the microphone and the small talk ceased as the gang looked up and heard Robin’s voice on the stage.

“Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, professors and students. Welcome to tonight’s Charity Bash. I am this evenings compere…or perhaps better known to you as Robin”

There was a very weak laugh in the audience. Saff saw Marian smiling and shaking her head in her hands.

Saff followed Robin’s gaze over to Marian as he smiled goofily at his poor humour only to see him scowl and look a little shocked as Gisborne leant over Marian and whispered in her ear.

The evening started with some comedy courtesy of Robin though Saff couldn’t help but notice Robin’s eyes constantly flickering over to Marian. There was also entertainment provided by musical University students and then dinner was served.

“Great chicken” Saff voice rung clear in the somewhat awkward silence

“Yes” agreed Eve quickly before lowering her eyes and continuing to eat

Much leaned over and tapped Allan on the shoulder and Saff heard him saying that there would be an hour or so of dancing and drinks as an interlude before the auction started.


The mood around the table for the first half hour was uncomfortable which Saff thought was odd considering they were all friends, except for Eve, and that Will, Allan and herself had never had a problem making conversation before. Saff decided that this night was rather boring so far.

When Robin sat down next to Allan, Saff felt relieved. At least with his vitality and conversation it might ease the awkwardness at the table. But strangly Robin barely spoke a word as he leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and sat there with a look to rival Will's infamous brooding stare.

As Eve and Will got up to dance Saff watched on as Much got up and left the table quickly. To turn her mind away from the green thoughts that were blooming Saff looked at Allan and said “are we going to dance?”

“nah lov, I’m ex..huastd” He drawled “long day an all”

“And a little bit drunk too, I might add”

“c’mon, I’v only ad a couple”

“Allan you haven’t even started auctioning and you’re in a bit of a state” said Saff grumpily before turning her back to him and watching Will and Eve for a little while longer. Spinning around to Allan again Saff asked “So what is the go with Will and the new Dean?”

“I’ve tol ya befor Saff, It aint my place ta tell ya” Allan replied. Saff thought that he probably wasn’t that drunk if he could still stick to his morals.

Repressing her own morals and taking advantage of Allan’s tipsy state Saff pushed Allan again for answers knowing how unlikely it was she would get them from Will. “Come on Allan. It’s hardly fair that everyone else knows and I do not. I thought I was a part of the gang…”

“Alright, alright, keep ya skirt on, I’ll telya, just don go makin a big deal out of it infront a Will, he doesn like it. K?”

“Okay”

“Righto, where ta start, where ta start..” Allan mused.

“When Will was a boy, well his still a boy really, but when he was a kid, I mean younger than he is now, the Dean…Vasey.. he was Sherriff of Nottingham, where Will, Robin, Much, Maz an the rest of us livd. The Sheriff used ta be Marians Dad, but somehow, and nobodies quiet sure ow, this new fella Vasey got in and Marian’s Dad got kicked out. There was always something fishy abou it. Well I thought so anyway.”

“You think the votes were gerrymandered?”

“Hmm coulda been. Anyway things got more fishy from then on. The local newspaper which had been fairly anti-Vasey in the run up ta the election all of sudden was singin his praises. And then all these new laws came in tha took power away from tha council an gave it ta Vasey. I don’t know heaps about it all, I mean I was just a kid and politics weren’t exactly my forte, I was more interested in kickin a ball and playing pranks with Will on our younger brothers.”

Saff smiled at this, imagining the two of em when they were little, up to no good.

“Anyhow, like I said, none of this mattered to us much, until Will’s mum got sick. Vasey was apparently drainin the money out of the towns health care system and usin it on some new development or somethin. The people were so over taxed and the Scarlett family couldn’t afford to relocate and take their Jane ta another hospital. And besides, by the time it was clear tha she needed to be in another hospitable the doctor said she couldn’t be moved. Plus there were others sick that couldn’t get beds either. There were all these mass protest in the city against Vasey and someone threw a brick at his window and somehow knocked one of Vasey’s teeth out, that’s why he wears those awful gold teeth ya know?. He of course got admittance to the hospital straight away and tha jus made people angrier.”

Allan paused for a moment and watched his best mate on the dance floor, slow dancing with Eve. Saff studied Allan and wondered what he was thinking. She saw Allan shake as something inside Allan quivered a little. If Saff had been privy to Allan’s thoughts, she might have known that Allan was realising that even after all these years Will wasn’t reconciled with what had happened in his family. She may have known that Allan suddenly felt a need to get up and go to his friend, to stand in front of him and protect him from the evils of the world. Inside Allan there was an innate need to protect this boy, this simple boy that meant the world to him. Allan realised that these feelings weren’t just that of a mate. They were the feelings of an older brother. When it came to Will, there was nobody in the entire world that Allan cared about more. Will had been through so much and Allan vowed to himself that he wouldn’t let the boy be hurt ever again. But Saff couldn’t know all this. But she could guess part of it. Saff, like Allan, realised that there was some type of bond between these two men, a type of current that flowed under the surface, twisting and changing, but always there. A current that flowed deeper than the shallows of normal friendship.

Watching Allan’s contorted features as these internal thoughts plagued him Saff put her hand on Allan’s arm and said “You’re a good man Allan A’Dale.”

Allan looked up quickly, shocked, it was almost as if she had been reading his mind. “right…well anyway let me get back to what I was saying. One cold morning Will’s mother passed away and her family were grief striken. There wasn’t a betta woman in all the world than Jane Scarlett. Will was angry, and believe me Saff, you’ve never seen him angry. He goes all quiet…quieter than normal and he gets this murderous look tha tells ya, ya betta be running as fast as ya can in the opposite direction.”

Saff shivered at the thought

“Anyhow a couple days after his mother passed Will went out a protest infronta Vasey’s house with a heap of other people, determined to speak his mind to Vasey. Dan, knowing his son, rushed out after him. I don think tha Dan was thinking straight himself. I was wif him and he kept sayin to me that he should be the one out there makin a stand, not his thirteen year ol son. Tha he should be the one showin the Sherrif, and tha he had ta get ta Will before he lost him too. It was crazy talk Saff, I know that I should have stopped Dan from going after Will. Dan shouldn av been goin anywhere in the state a mind he was in. But I was fifteen at the time and all I could see was a Dad wantin ta look after his son so me an Dan went afta Will tagether.”

Allan paused for a breath, looking down at his hands he failed to notice the silent tears running down Saff’s face.

“Dan and I found Will screaming at the Sherriff as his car went past and about to throw a rock through the car window. I grabbed Wills arm in time and Dan lunged at his sons body. Takin the dropped stone Dan lifted to throw at tha car only to be elbowed in tha head by a copper who musta been on crowd control. Dan fell to tha ground and died having a heart attack. Will lost both his parents in the same week. Worst of all I reckon is tha Will blames himself for their deaths, particularly his fathers….”

Saff had listened to the last bit of the story with her hand on her mouth and silent tears running down her eyes. Allan, seeing her grief and shock pulled her up and hugged her to him and she relaxed into his strong arms. Turning her head she watched Will only to find him staring back at them, before he quickly looked away.

Blinking back the tears she tried to release herself from Allan's embrace, only to find him leaning towards her and kissing her. In her moment’s weakness and vulnerability, she was confused and didn’t stop him. She felt numb to everything that was going on around her. After a moment she realised what was happening and stepped back and slapped Allan’s face.

“Allan..how could you?” she cried angrily

“What!?” said Allan a little guiltily “I thought ya liked me, I mean ya are my date.”

“As a friend! I came with you tonight as a friend”

Grabbing her things she walked in the direction of the door

“c’mon Saff, don be like that” Allan said trailing her

“Just leave me alone Allan” she said holding her hand out to stop them.

Allan scolwed bitterly "wouldn't hav minded if it was Will ere not me i'll bet"

Saff just spun around forcefully and continued to the door.

Saff turned and saw Much on the stage announcing the beginning of the auction. She saw John’s rise and put a restraining hand on Allan’s should before Allan shook him off and wove his way to the front of the stage still looking shocked and a little tipsy. What Saff didn't see was the observant eyes of Will Scarlett who first looked shocked at the kiss but then concerned. She didn’t see him grab his jacket apologise to Eve and follow her silently out the gym

She left the gym and walked quickly back to her dorm. Changing out of her dress and into a top she lay down on her bed and sobbed. Her stomach was churning uncontrollably, a pit of confusing emotions. Touching her fingers to her lips she wiped them with the back of her hand as if to brush the kiss away. She wished she could undo it. It was all too much to take in at once, all too much to handle on her own. If this was what growing up and becoming an adult felt like, she wanted to be a child forever. What she really wanted was her mother. She wished she could bury her head into her mothers soft shoulder and be told that it would all be okay.

But there was no mother to hold and comfort her and it wasn’t all going to be okay. This secret she was hiding inside her, holding on to for all these years was isolating her, making it impossible for anybody one to truly know her. But now she had found somebody who may possible understand what she was feeling, who may understand the grief that she had held onto for all these years, somebody who like her had no mother and father – And that somebody was Will Scarlett.

~o~O~o~

Author: Lili44

Genre: (AU) Friendship/Romance

Disclaimer: Sorry I do not own Robin Hood or any related characters.

check out the banner for this fic at this address: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t222/lanaburgess2/forlilidjaq.jpg

 Synopsis: Nobody ever thought that Saffiyah was just an ordinary girl. But there is so much more to her life than was ever expected. Join Saff on her journey through University as she finds new friends, deals with stresses and faces her past, present and future. Will Saff ever be able to face her past and can she fight for her future and win? Will Saff find her kindred spirit? Join the gang in a tale of living, loving and letting go.

*sorry this isn't under a LJ cut everyone. They don't seem to be working for me no matter what i do.

 

Chapter 11 - Villian or Victim

~o~O~o~

eeling rather vulnerable she crossed her arms over her chest and looked around the Dean’s office.

“What can I do for you miss…?”

“Amal, and you are….?”

“Vasey, but that’s Dean Vasey to you”

“Yes Sir, what happened to Dean Eddie?”

“He was no longer required to fill this position, interesting story actually, not that it’s any of your business…now why are you here?”

“Um, right, Oh well I am having a problem with one of my professors” Saffiyah said, reminded of her purpose

“Well why are you telling me? Take it up with him.” already the dean was sounding bored and disinterested.

“Well I have tried but they weren’t interested.”

“And who was this professor?” The Dean said while rolling his head back on the chair

“Professor Gisborne.”

“Ah”

“He is deducting marks in my test for correct answers, because he doesn’t agree with them.”

“I see, so how do you know that they are correct answers if he marks them incorrect.”

“Well sir…” Saff started, a little befuddled at the question.

“YOU DON’T! Do you think you are smarter than him? That you know more?”

“No sir I don’t, it’s just that….”

“SILENCE, I will not be interrupted.” Vasey yelled, than continued at a hissing whisper “You don’t know more, he is the professor, you are the student and a female student at that.”

Saff’s eyes widened, normally she’d have a million and one responses to that, but she was shocked beyond words.

“Professor Gisborne is not your problem, Miss Amal, your complete disregard for authority, is your problem.” He said with his voice returning to normal level. “Now leave me, I have more important things to deal with than your petty worries and little cries of ‘Gisborne is a big meany and he doesn’t like me’ ”

“But…”

“Out” The Dean growled

“This doesn’t end here…” She said, her anger overcoming her common sense

“OUT!”

Saff hasten towards the door, turned and took one last look at the balding man with the gleaming gold tooth and left. Outside in the corridor she leant back against the wall, her heart slamming against her chest. Her mind was racing with thoughts and she just couldn’t seem to iron them out.

“Saff?” She felt a tentative hand on her should and she turned to face the soft, yet curious eyes of Will Scarlett, she was instantly calmed. “How’d it go?” he asked.

She gave a shaky laugh “not so great.”

“Why not?” He asked shocked “I was sure that Eddie would hear you out.”

“Well, that’s where you’re mistaken. Eddie’s not the Dean anymore.”

“What!?! What happened to him, he was a great Dean?” Will said shocked.

“Apparently he is ‘no longer required’ well that’s what the new Dean said”

“Who’s the new Dean?”

“Dean Vasey”

Will froze, his muscles tightened and his eyes hardened.

“Will?”

It was as if she was no longer there, he couldn’t hear her or see her and it was if he was looking right through her.

She placed a soft hand on his chest “Will”

He looked at he and shook himself then grabbed her handed and rushed her down the corridor.

“Will what’s happening?”

“c’mon, we gotta find Robin”

“Okay, but why?”

“Let’s just find him first”

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The gang were all seated in Robin’s and Much’s room

“So, what’s so important, I had to be dragged away from the committee meeting?” Much asked

“Will’s gonna tell us, go on Will” urged Robin

Will looked around at the entire group, nervous at addressing them all. “Well Saff and I just went to see the Dean about Gisborne deducting marks from her tests…”

“SAFFIYAH!” Marian interrupted “I thought we’d discussed this”

“Not now Marian” Robin interrupted “keep going Will”

“But it wasn’t Dean Eddie in the Dean’s office”

“What?!?” The gang cried out collectively

“It was…, the new Dean is…” Will was shaking, with anger or emotion, Saff wasn’t sure which, perhaps it was both.

“It was Vasey” Will spat out with venom

The gang gasped, Allan’s eyes widened as he put his arm around Will shoulder. “that is, that is..” Much was saying. Saff was so confused, what was going on?”

“Guys, what is it? What’s going on?” she asked

“Right well” Robin said ignoring her and taking control of the situation “the question is what we are going to do about it?”

“Nothing” Marian said quickly “he hasn’t done anything yet”

“He’s done nothing this time, but you know he will”

“what will he do?” Saff interrupted a little irritated and very confused.

“We do nothing as of yet” Marian said

“Fine” Robin agreed, “Nothing for now, but the moment he…”

“We’ll be onta him like a cat on a mouse” Allan finished sounding ridiculous but speaking so strongly nobody laughed.

“Well, I need to get back to the charity bash meeting if nobody objects”

“The charity bash meeting….” Robin said more to himself than anyone his eyes glazing over.

“Robin” Much said warningly “I know that look”

“What look?” Robin asked innocently

“Robin. We do nothing!” Marian reasserted

“Yes darling” Robin agreed

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~


Saffiyah was sitting in an armchair reading a long, difficult book titled ‘Modern Medical Remedies’ when Allan approached.

“Sup?” he asked smiling at her

“Not much, you?”

“Not a hell of a lot”

“Listen, earlier on with that stuff about the new Dean, what was that all about?” Saff asked.

“Ah well, lets just say this aint the first time him and us ave met” Allan said elusively

“Um okay, how so?”

“He used ta be the mayor of Loxley right. And well, he didn’t exactly do the best job. You know corrupt an all that. He an Rob have a bit of a history. You know how Robs all righteous and what not. Well he and Vasey had a lethal clash of morals.”

“Oh, I see. Why was Will so wound up?”

“Um, well there’s a bit of a history, there too.”

“Yeah?” Saff asked, concerned for her friend

“Its not really my place ta say. It’s his business”

“Oh. Well I think I’m gonna go find Will, and thank him for helping me out today”

“Okay. Hey Saff, you still right for tommora night?”

“Um yea I guess”

“Great!”

Saff left a smiling Allan as she frowned to herself and left the room. She headed to the art room where she knew Will would be.

Walking down the snaking corridors to the art room Saff thought about what Allan had said about Will having a history with the new Dean. She’d been curious about Will’s past when she first met him. She’d known there was so much to him and now the secrets seemed to be coming to the surface. She felt concern for him, the real genuine concern of friendship… friendship and nothing more of course. The same kind of friendship she felt for Allan.

But Saff wasn’t fooling anybody, least of all herself. When Allan had asked her to the charity bash, it was as a friend…right? Well that’s what she thought anyway. But now she thought about, if Will had of asked her instead, not that he ever would, but if he had she’d not have considered it an offer of friendship…and then of course she’d had have to have said no. Saying no to Will! Could she do that? It’s not like she’d have a choice. But could she really say no to him? She doubted it. ‘He’s got demons from his past…just like I’ve got demons from mine she thought’.

She approached the art room and saw a brooding Will sitting and crouched over a painting. His long slow strokes swept the canvas with such care and precision. He was utterly and completely absorbed in his task and she didn’t want to enter; it felt as if she was intruding on something personal. But though he looked immersed in his work and his features calm and beautiful he also looked lost and lonely…’like a sheep without its shepherd’ she thought before reprimanding herself for her own silly thoughts. Reaching out of for the door handle Saff jumped as it had burnt her hand when she saw a tall blonde enter from the door on the other side of the room. Feeling like a voyeur she watched on as Will turned and smiled at the blonde who was very pretty.

“Hey Eve” Will said softly

“Hey, Will, I have to lock up now” the girl said smiling at him

“Of course, I was finished anyway”

“It’s a beautiful painting Will” Eve said resting a hand on his shoulder

“Thanks” he smiled. Saff grimaced

“I understand the symbolism of the backdrop, but who’s the girl? I feel like I’ve seen her before.”

“Oh..” Will hesitated “Nobody. Nobody real anyway, just a symbol for beauty fractured by war and destruction.”

“Really?” asked Eve “she looks so perfect but also so sad. How can someone that beautiful look so sad? She looks like…I don’t know how to explain it…she looks as if….”

“She has been broken” Will finished Eve’s sentence. “Broken and though glued back together she still has fractures.”

“Yes exactly” Eve said as she approached the door where Saffiyah stood and locked it.

Guiltily pressing her face to the opaque glass Saffiyah watched the distorted figures of Will and the girl; Eve. She heard Will asking Eve if she had a partner for the charity bash. She heard Eve sigh and so no. She imagined Will’s flushed cheeks as he asked Eve to partner him. She even felt her stomach fill with bile and Eve giggled and agreed. The she felt lonely and alone as Eve switched off the lights to the art building and she stood feeling the habitual coldness of her life fill her as the lights to the building turned off and she was left standing alone in the dark.

~o~O~o~

Author: Lili44

Genre: (AU) Friendship/Romance

Disclaimer: Sorry I do not own Robin Hood or any related characters.

check out the banner for this fic at this address: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t222/lanaburgess2/forlilidjaq.jpg

 Synopsis: Nobody ever thought that Saffiyah was just an ordinary girl. But there is so much more to her life than was ever expected. Join Saff on her journey through University as she finds new friends, deals with stresses and faces her past, present and future. Will Saff ever be able to face her past and can she fight for her future and win? Will Saff find her kindred spirit? Join the gang in a tale of living, loving and letting go.

*sorry this isn't under a LJ cut everyone. They don't seem to be working for me no matter what i do.


 

Chapter 10 - From Bad to Worse

~o~O~o~

“Not long ta go now guys and that babies gonna be mine” Allan grinned almost bouncing with excitement.

“So Allan, exactly how much have you saved?” Will asked sharing a knowing smile with Saffiyah.

“And how much have you got to go?” Saff asked with laughing eyes while glancing sideways at a silently laughing Will.

“Well that’s not the ‘portant bit, is it now” said Allan frowning at the both of them.

Saff looked around, she could not have been happier at the moment, ‘life was good’ she thought as she gazed around in the bright summer sun at the cool greenness of the lawn and tress of the University campus lawns. Will, Allan and she had developed a somewhat unlikely yet close friendship. It seemed that they had been thrown together as Robin and Marian spent more and more time alone and a normally ever present Much kept disappearing suspiciously. ‘Oh and John’ she remembered. He was as much a part of the gang as anybody. They often went to the pub after lectures whether it be for relaxation and friendly banter or to discuss their problems. Strong but gentle John was always there to advise them or laugh with them.

But Saff, Will and Allan, the unlikely threesome that they were seemed to bond by more than just circumstance. And vastly different though they were, they somehow seemed to suit each other. Allan and Saff could quite often be found arguing about who was the brains, who was the beauty and who was the body out of the three of them. Saff remember these debates fondly as she and Allan hotly argued with quick wit and words with a silent Will listening on in the background. One afternoon Allan had laughed at Saff claiming that she couldn’t possibly be the beauty due to the fact that a careless lab partner had caused an explosion in the labs that had singed her eyebrows. Another day, Saff had laughed at Allan as Marian stole the ball off him on the basketball court, claiming he certainly couldn’t be the body if a girl could beat him at a physical sport. Sometimes Allan would pick on Will, claiming that he obviously wasn’t the brains as his characteristic silence was really due to his inability to string two words together. Will would then interrupt to add that Allan obviously wasn’t the brains or the beauty and since he was the most brutish of them he had to be the body. But when Allan asked Will which of these three Saff was, Will refused to respond. These arguments went round and round in circles until they all forgot what they were arguing.

“I hafta finda way ta get more cash” Allan interrupted her quiet reflection.

“Get a job” Will said stating the obvious

“Nuh uh, too hard, can’t do that”

“Why not?” Saff asked

“ummm uh, lets just say that my slate aint exactly clean, if ya catch my drift”

Saff looked shocked but Will was laughing as he said “oh yea, I that’s right, I remember the time when you..”

“Shut up” Allan interrupted elbowing Will in the stomach “not in front of a lady”

Saff was about to argue that she was really no lady and thus didn’t need any sensitive treatment when she spotted Much walking towards them and waving.

As he approached Saff noted the smug look on his face and it appeared that Allan did too as he said “well Mr. Self Satisfied, what do you want a trophy for now?”

Much looked downcast and Saff was about to ask him his news but was beaten to the line by Will who said “Don’t listen to him, what’s new Much?”

“Well, for one of my practical examinations, some other students and I are throwing a charity bash”


“What’s that?” Saff asked trying to cover up Allan’s snort of shock and laughter

“Well it’s basically a charity party where you all pay ridiculously high prices to get in and then there is an auction where we auction off some of the University memorabilia and then all the money goes to charity”

“Sounds like fun” Saff said

“It’s got a theme too” Much added looking excited “It’s a Cabaret theme”

“Oh wow!” Marian said appearing behind Much, with Robin who said “You’ll look much more gorgeous in those short little dresses than Liza Minelli”

“Oh Robin!” Much exclaimed as Marian punched Robin’s arm “I’m glad you’re here, I was going to ask you to be compere for the night”

“I don’t see why not” Robin replied grinning as Marian squeezed his hand

“And you Allan, I was wondering if you would be the auctioneer?”

“ME?”

“Well, yea, unless that is… well unless you don’t want to”

“Okay sure. Do I get paid?” Allan asked hopefully

“Of course not Allan” Marian cried “surely something about the word charity implies that.”

“Oh yes. I forgot to tell you, it’s a partner event” Much added

“What! why?” Will asked quickly with an odd high pitch in his usually calm voice

“Well there music and dancing and all that jazz” Much said looking pleased at his own play on words.

“Well it’s nearly 1 o’clock so I have class and I better get going if I wanna keep the old professor on my side” interrupted Robin

“Yea me too" added Marian

Will was already leaving silently as Much mumbled something about a committee meeting.

Saff looked over to Allan who said he’d catch up with her later and headed off in some unknown direction sticking a cigarette in his mouth. But Saff saw him much sooner than expected. As she unpacked her books for her class in the lab she spotted Allan talking animatedly and quietly to Gisborne and then turn quickly and leave as Gisborne entered the lab. That was highly unusual!

What just happened? Saff puzzled as Professor Gisborne addressed the class in his characteristic black lab coat sneering down his nose at the them.

“Well, I was going to allow an interesting practical today on symptoms and effects of Aphasia but it appears if we did it none of you would understand it. I have reviewed last week’s tests and most of the results were very poor. You can collect your tests and thanks to your low marks we will be spending a lesson on revising what you should already know without error”

On collecting her test Saffiyah frowned at her mark. She had received near perfect scores for the diagnostics and symptoms section of the text but had scored less than half marks in the treatments section. She looked up at Gisborne, outraged, and saw his smirking, smug face watching her. He approached her slowly, swaggering over to her desk.

“Is there a problem Miss Amal?”

Tilting her head on one side and frowning Saffiyah said “you deducted marks for correct answers; melatonin and hypericin tablets are a treatment for insomnia. And here you have marked the treatment for….

“Melatonin and hypericin tablets, Miss Amal, I think you will find, have no salient experiments backing their effectiveness. Besides there are herbal remedies, for old witch women. They are not the products of science.”

“Not the products of science? A US, experiment done in 2007 done by the American Medic…

“Silence Miss Amal” Gisborne growled. He clenched his teeth and snarled “this is my class and I will not be questioned in front of other class member, undermining me in front of them, undermines my authority. If you have an issue you will see me individually. Are we clear?”

Saffiyah opened her mouth to argue then closed it again at the ugly look on his face and then replied forcedly “yes sir”.

Turning to the rest of the class Gisborne began teaching the lesson and Saffiyah kept her head down and worked solidly but at times she could feel his cold glare on her back and that sent shivers down her spine.

At the end of the lecture she approached him, determined to question him about her unfair results but he left too quickly, ignoring her when she said “Professor” and left the lab turning off the lights, leaving her standing in the dark feeling dumbfounded.

~o~O~o~

Frustrated and angry Saffiyah went in search of Marian only to be found by a somewhat excited Allan who led her over to the noisy cafeteria.

“Good lesson?” Allan enquired

“Not particularly” Saffiyah replied moodily

“Ah well, I know what ya mean. Anyways I wanted to grab ya alone for a sec to ask ya somefing”

“What do you want Allan?” Saff replied a little rudely, looking around for Marian

“Well I was thinkin, that if we hafta go to this charity thing Much was bangin on about earlier, that you an I could go tagether”

“What?!?” Saff looked at him in shock as if she were seeing him for the first time

“What I mean ta say is, will ya go as my date?”

“Oh um, Allan I don’t know what to say” Saff replied

“Say yes”

“Um okay, yes then. Look I’ll catchya later” said Saff as she spotted Marian.

“Yea oright then, bye” Allan beamed.

~o~O~o~

“Marian! Hey wait up” Saff called to her friend

“Oh hey Saff, wait… what's wrong?”

“I’ve had the worst day”

“C’mon then lets get you back to the room” said Marian as she grabbed Saffiyah’s arm and walked her to their room.

Sitting down on Saffiyah’s bed Marian asked “so what’s up?”

Saffiyah told Marian, about Gisborne’s unjust marking of her test.

Marian smiled “that’s not all so bad Saff. Different teachers mark differently. You have to give them the answers they want not the answers to the question”

“But that makes no sense” Saff replied “of course you have to answer the question”

“No you don’t - not necessarily. Look you’re obviously going to get nowhere raging at him again . To get results you have to work within the system, so just give him the answers he wants.”

“But Marian, it’s a matter of principal. I can’t just…”

Saff was interrupted by knocking at the door

Marian opened it to the toothy smile of Robin and the gangly figure of Will Scarlett

“Can I help you boys?”

“I need to talk to you for a sec” Robin said

“Not now Rob, I’m talking to Saff”

Robin peered over her shoulder to see near tears Saffiyah. “Don’t worry, Will can comfort her” Robin smirked as he dragged Marian off.

“Hey Will” said Saff glumly

“What’s wrong Saffiyah?”

“Nothing much”

Will raised his eyebrows, “obviously” he answered sarcastically. “C’mon you can tell me, is it something about your parents?” Will asked as he sat down next to her.

“Oh no nothing like that! Its stupid…it’s just…”

“C’mon Saff what are friend’s for but for listening” he said as he shuffled closer and she took comfort in his proximity.

He was achingly close to her now, she could see his almost non-existent beard and she longer to reach up and touch it. She wanted to know what it felt like, whether it would be soft and smooth like it looked or rough and prickly like her fathers.

“Friends?” she repeated as her breath caught in her throat. Her shoulder gently brushed his and she felt unexplainable shivers tingle where there arms had made contact.

“Yea of course” he smiled.

She mentally shook herself and then told him what she had only moments ago told Marian and received a very different reaction.

He was outraged “Well that’s not right Saff! He can’t dock marks just because he’s arrogant and narrow minded”

“That’s what I reckon, but what should I do? I obviously can’t appeal to him about it. He’ll just shake me off and that’s if he doesn’t ignore me first.”

“Well you can’t just leave it, you have to stop it now, it’s only gonna get worse”

“But Marian thinks, I shouldn’t say anything about it and just give him the answers I think he wants”

“But if your answers are correct then why should you change them?”

“I know, maybe I should talk to the Dean? What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I think he’s a pretty fair minded old man and maybe he could just have a chat with Gisborne and then things would be right. I’ll come with you if you want?”

“What now?”

“Yea, why not?”

Yeah okay” Saff decided as she got up and they both walked in the direction of his office. “Thanks Will, I’ve just had a bad day. Oh and that reminds me; you’ll never guess what happened. Allan asked me to be his date for Much’s charity thing.”

“What!?!” Will staggered a little “what did you say?”

“I think I said yes. To tell the truth I thought he was joking at first!”

“Right well, let’s see the Dean first” Will said forcedly as they arrived at his office door. Saffiyah looked up at Will for reassurance but got none, instead she saw shock in his eyes and noticed his normally straight and tall posture was slouching. Feeling her eyes on him he smiled weakly.

“Yes, one problem at a time” Saff answered, not really realising what she was saying.

Saff tapped on the oak office door and heard a voice call “enter”

As she entered Saff mouth dropped, this was not Eddie, the kind faced Dean of the University. In his place sat a balding man with a devious look and a beard who was regarding her with disdain. As he turned to face her she notice his gold tooth as he forced a welcoming, but sarcastic smile. Behind his chair she noticed a pretty, little, yellow canary in a cage, but the canary looked encaged and trapped. And as the man told her to shut the door, she couldn’t help feeling like the little bird, trapped and encaged in the dark little office.

~o~O~o~

Title: Flight

Author: Lili44

Genre: (AU) Friendship/Romance

Disclaimer: Sorry I do not own Robin Hood or any related characters.

check out the banner for this fic at this address: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t222/lanaburgess2/forlilidjaq.jpg

 Synopsis: Nobody ever thought that Saffiyah was just an ordinary girl. But there is so much more to her life than was ever expected. Join Saff on her journey through University as she finds new friends, deals with stresses and faces her past, present and future. Will Saff ever be able to face her past and can she fight for her future and win? Will Saff find her kindred spirit? Join the gang in a tale of living, loving and letting go.

*sorry this isn't under a LJ cut everyone. They don't seem to be working for me no matter what i do.


 

Chapter 9 - Man In Black

~o~O~o~

Entering the class room door Saff felt a noticeable drop in temperature. ‘That’s odd’ she thought to herself ‘Professor S’ usually has the heater on in the morning, even if they were in the labs.

She took her seat and glanced over her notes from the previous lessons. Her thoughts drifted as they often did when she was meant to be doing something else. She was so glad she took Health Science. Medicine seemed to come naturally to her. It was like a puzzle that she had to put together. See the symptoms, work out the problem and then fix it. It made logical sense, and logic was something she understood. She didn’t know where she wanted to take it yet but she was glad she liked what she was studying. Ever since Djaq had been diagnosed she had prayed and prayed to Allah for a miracle cure. But that hadn’t happened. She had the letters from her parents to prove it. But with the loss of her brother the recognition of her life's ambition had presented itself to her. She wanted to save lives. To save the lives of peoples loved ones, even when her brother could not have been.

She had been a little weary of Professor Snuffelufigus at first. But she had grown to like him for his obvious enthusiasm and passion for his subject the course. He was a little man with a long white as snow beard and a somewhat high pitch voice that squeaked when he got excited. She loved his witty remarks and the way he made learning interesting. To her it was as it were all some profound new discovery and they were discovering it together for the first time despite the fact that what they were learning was taught daily in classrooms across the globe.

As if to contradict her thoughts a tall, dark haired man entered the room and sniffed loudly, drawing attention him or rather to his then protruding nostrils.

“Right” he announced loudly “my name is Professor Gisbourne and I am here to replace your other Professor who I understand is currently on urgent leave” he put extra emphasis on other and spoke in a condescending tone.

He paused as outcries of shocked poured out from the students. Saff was not only shocked but a little angry. This Gisborne could at least have the respect to call Professor S by his name rather than just ‘Professor’

“Silence” he said sharply “Do not ask me where he is, that is not my problem, I only know that there is a strong chance he will not be returning for the remainder of the semester” he smirked lightly at the end of the sentence.

Saffiyah desperately wanted to ask where he was and if he was okay but something about this man warned her that he could be crossed easily and so she said nothing. She watched him enter the storage room and almost laughed as he returned donning a long black lab coat that opposed the traditional white one. Saff almost expected him to don a pair of black lab glasses. ‘If Allan was here’ she thought 'he would be making numerous comments about Gisborne’s sense of style and he’d probably ask Gisborne if he’s seen the movie shaft'. Gisborne had long black hair that looked a little greasy when he pushed it back behind his ears. He looked young compared to Professor S, maybe a little older then Robin and Marian who were 21. ‘This must be his first job’ she thought, but he seemed to ooze confidence and ambition. In truth she didn’t know what to think. She tried to remind herself not to judge a book by its cover, but there was something about this man she just did not like.

“We shall begin.” Gisborne announced as went to the board. “Now I understand that you all have a relatively good understanding about the basic functions of the human body…”he sneered as if he doubted it.

Saffiyah snorted out loud this time ‘basics! Yea right’ she thought

Gisborne’s gaze turned to her, “something wrong Miss….”

“Amal” she responded with a tone of arrogance not far off the one Guy had spoken with a few moments earlier “and yes, I think it can be said that we have a more than basic understanding of the functions of the human body”.

A couple members of the class gaped at Saff but the words were out before she could even process them. She was surprised at her self; it was so out of character. Usually she thought things over before she spoke. She was known for meticulously analyzing everything, so thinking before she spoke seemed like second nature. Maybe she’d been spending too much time with Allan. He seemed to be rubbing off on her.

“Well Miss Amal, I expect that you will leave that for me to determine” he said coldly “and that is why” he announced as he turned to the rest of the class “we will begin with a test”

The class groaned but Saff grinned. ‘Oright’ she thought, using Allans vulgar dialect ‘it’s on’. Saff was going to show him a thing or two that may readjust his attitude.

After the test Saff handed up the paper and Gisborne looked briefly over her answers while she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips measuring him up. He looked up and imitated her gaze before he gave her a sneering look as he said “you may go Miss Amal, oh and I suggest you read up a little more on contemporary medicines that combat the effects of the sleep disorders, I won’t accept alternative medicine and if you ever do become a doctor I doubt your patients will either”. She wanted to bite back at him but instead she forced a smile and said “page 133 I guess?” and then turned to pack up her writing equipment. She felt his eyes following her the entire time.

As she left the classroom after receiving a sneering nod from Gisborne she heard Allan’s voice calling out as he literally bounced up to her and put his arm around her waist friendlily.

“Hows it goin?”

“Yea alright” she replied as he nudged him off

“You ungry?” Allan appeared unruffled at her rebuff

“A little”

“Lets go get sum ice cream, I know this great lil place on Bon Church street”

“Alright sure, but only if I get bananna. OH! Wills over there” she saw him leaving the art room and looking around shiftily. “Lets wait for him and he can come too”

“ahhh, oright, sure” Allan’s voiced seemed a must uncharacteristically strained and a little disappointed. She let it pass and instead called out “Hey Will” she smiled and waved him over

“Getting ice cream” Allan told Will by way of invitation Saffiyah guessed.

Will nodded and they walked slowly towards the road. Saffiyah paused momentarily as she spied Professor Gisborne leaning back against a wall eying some poor young girl up and down much differently to the way he has assessed herself earlier. When looking at her he seemed to be measuring her up, but the way he was looking at this girl was much sleazier…hang on that young girl…no wait…oh yes it was…it was Marian. As Marian passed him on her way to the basketball courts she was laughing and calling out to Much. Gisborne's eyes watched her hair as it flicked back glazed over her elegant neck and followed it down, down….Saff turned away; she felt dirty even watching.

‘Eugh’ thought Saff ‘there is definitely something about the new professor that just isn’t right.’ She resolved to mention this to Marian later.

Saff half listened to Allan jabber on about his day nodding and commenting occasionally while she walked between him and a typically silent Will. As they headed towards an ice cream shop Allan stopped suddenly both vocally and physically which caused both Saff and Will to look up.

“What is it Allan?” Will asked attempting to follow Allan’s line of vision but apparently seeing nothing of interest

“Over there, in the blue” Allan’s said with his voice filled with awe

Saff looked around curiously. Knowing Allan it was likely to be a girl.

“Over….there” Allan said exasperated as he pointed furiously at some thing Will and her could not seem to see.

“1968 Chevy Nova SS 9738 COPO Chevy II Thunder Maker”Allan reeled off “I’ve always always wanted one. My Granpa had one an me n’ ma Dad used ta go round Sunday arvo’s and help with modifications. We never seemed to have it quiet right an there was always somethin more to add or change or alter. It got repossessed by the banks years ago though”

Saff looked at the car Allan was describing. It was one of the ugliest cars she’d ever seen, but she doubted that Allan was so partial towards it because of its looks. It must have been the fond associations with his youth

“Allan, that Chevy watchyamacallit has a for sale sign on the back” Will mentioned

“What!?!”

Allan ran ahead and Will and Saff saw his eyes open wide and watched as he emitted a loud groan. They hastened towards him.

“How much?” Will asked, instinctively knowing the problem.

“Too much ta even think bout”

Will patted his friend gently on the back and Saff grabbed his elbow attempting to lead him away from the car and toward the ice cream shop.

“Nah I think I’ll wait here, get me chocolate or sumthin Will”

“Okay if you’re sure” Will said

As they left Allan pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Saff’s jaw dropped. As a medical student she was obviously strongly opposed to smoking. She knew people didn’t like to have opinions forced on them, but smoking was one area she could not just keep her opinion to herself, especially when it involved her friends.

She caught up to Will and nudged his arm companionably.

“What is Allan doing?” she asked still shocked

Will looked back. “You mean the smoking?”

“Yes!”

“Well he claims he’s a social smoker, but he really only smokes when he’s under stress”

Saff scowled “doesn’t he know it’s bad for him?

“Oh he knows alright but he doesn’t take the health risks seriously. That’s the problem with him, he’s fun to be around and a great mate, but he doesn’t take things seriously enough.”

Saff nodded and added as an after thought “can’t you stop him?”

“Me? He doesn’t listen to me. I’ve tried but he thinks I’m nagging”

“He pays more attention to you than you think”

“Well we have been friends a long time, but sometimes I feel like he isn’t really interested in what I think unless it’s something he wants to hear. Ah sorry, let’s not talk about this. How was your morning?”

Saff told Will about her new teacher as they bought the ice creams and headed back to Allan who was still staring longingly at the car. When they finally dragged him away he prattled on about all the alterations he and his dad had made to their car when he was a kid. Will seemed to be listening politely with real interest Saff attempted to do the same even if she had to feign her interest.

When they finally reached the school Saff noticed Professor Gisborne leaning against a wall talking to another professor but it seemed as if he was watching her over the professor’s shoulder.

“OH SCORE!” Allan exclaimed as he picked up a $50 note of the ground

“Don’t you think you should hand that in Allan?” Will mentioned quietly

“WHAT? No way. Haven’t ya ever heard of tha old sayin mate, finders keepers, losers weepers!”

Saff’s eyes were watching Gisborne who was looking at Allan and Will with some interest.

“This money my friends, is goin to the car fund” said Allan loudly and happily as he tuck the note in the back pocket of his jeans and then walked off to join in basketball game with Marian on a nearby court. “Catya” he called as Gisborne’s eyes followed Allan to Marian as Allan grabbed her playfully by the waist and pulled her off the basketball.

Will and Saff just looked at each other

“Where you off to now?” Saff asked Will

“Well I was going to go and finish something I was working on.”

“Mind if I come? I’m not so great at basketball and I promise to be quiet and I’ll work on my practical report”

Will hesitated “ummm” then he seemed resolved “yeah sure”

Will led Saff in the direction of the art room. Saffiyah’s curiosity was piqued but she deemed it best not to say anything as she followed him to the art room. They spent the afternoon chatting comfortably but the entire time Saff never saw the painting of the deeply private Will Scarlett. Neither of the two seemed to get much work done and strangely Saff didn’t consider it a waste of time, which usually she would.

~o~O~o~